It was fall of 1996 when I took  a trip to see a friend in New Mexico.  Music is what had brought us together but it was our desire for freedom that led to the unfolding of events that would change our lives forever.

 

When I arrived he said to me that Miguel is in town. He is giving a workshop and we are going to go see him.  I had never gone to a workshop before. Up to this point in my life all my information had been derived from reading books, school in healing the body and personal experience. The workshop was on relationships not specific to couples. I thought it would be fun. So I went.

 

My first impression of the man Miguel was that he was not someone to go see. He was someone to be with. He had the presence of just being himself and the result was a feeling of  respect and acceptance for everyone that was attending. He talked bout men, women, couples, broken hearts, surrender, acceptance, awareness and attention. I could understand everything I heard, the way one understands things they already know. The words were sweet, the concepts had common sense and above all were full of truth. I returned to my home in Berkeley, California feeling happier than when I left. I also felt more free from putting my attention on to something that existed in me that I had seemingly forgotten before. I liked what I felt. I wanted more.

 

February 1st  of 1997, only four blocks from where I lived, was a Toltec open house lead by Trey Jenkins, Don Miguel’s stepson, for people that were interested in a weekly class on the Mastery of Awareness. I went every week and at a certain point I no longer had any doubt that I was to follow this path to freedom.  After a few months the book the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz was published. I read it and then went to hear a two hour talk on the book.

 

At the talk Miguel announced that he would be doing a more in depth discussion on the Four Agreements   in Sacramento. There were about twenty people there. The feel was like in New Mexico. Respect, honest communication and unconditional love. It was here where the launching pad for my next eights years was formed. The foundation was set to propel me into a journey of no return in the direction of self awareness, rapid evolution and responsibility.

 

It happened  at the end of the talk, as I was saying goodbye to Miguel and he whispered in my ear: “you are so close”.  However, what I heard was: “ you are so closed”. I felt a huge rush of emotion and an instant reaction to it. I immediately acted as if nothing was happening. I drove home with a friend pretending the entire way that all was fine. Meanwhile inside my head where myriads of stories about how I have failed, how I was not good enough, how I have done so much work, that it’s not true that I’m closed, how embarrassed  I am, just to name a few. I was getting more and more disturbed with my stories and just in time I got dropped off at my home because I was running out of energy to keep pretending that all was ok. Now I was alone and after a few hours I had worked myself into complete hopelessness. I was no longer pretending that I did not feel this way. It was easy. There was no one there but me. I looked up to the sky and saw a bright shinning planet.  At the point where I no longer was pretending I was able to see the beauty around me and then I heard Miguel’s whisper in my ear again. This time I heard what he really said . I took so personally something that was not even true. I could not stop laughing at my folly. Then awareness came upon me like a tidal wave that washed away many lies that I was telling myself. Most of all I saw that at this point in my life I was the only one responsible for my suffering and also my happiness.

 

I went further to study with Miguel Ruiz, the other Toltec masteries of Transformation and Intent. Then on to the final practice in the Art of Dreaming which has lead me to the place where I create my own dream the way I want it, based on truth and my integrity. It is a place where there is no worry or suffering where life is no longer trapped and  pleasure rules the body.  This is freedom. It feels eternal, it is so and I wish it for everyone.